When?
When is it finally going to set in? When am I going to accept it all. When am I going to be able to say I’m ok. I’m not ok. I’m not at all. I’m full of secrets. I’m full of hidden emotions. I’m in denial. I want you to say everything’s going to be ok. I want you to give me a hug. I want you to give me that face and let me know I’ll be alright. Tell me it just takes time. Tell me this wound isn’t forever. I’ll hold on forever. My heart will continue to break every time I realize you really aren’t here. I can’t even put into words how I feel, how much I miss you, how much I wish you could’ve just spoke a few words before going. Every time I hear your voice my eyes swell with tears and it all becomes real, over and over and over again. It sinks in and out and in and out. It’s a month on thursday. One whole month since my world shattered into a million pieces. I hope you are having fun up there, no pain, no disease, just life, lots and lots of life. Watch over us, especially mommy, she needs you more than ever. I’m trying, I really am, but I can only do so much. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I told you that so much that weekend. I couldn’t say it enough. I know that you know how much I mean it and always will. <3
