(Source: goodthymesrkillingme, via skin-n-bones)
I dont remember the last time I wore make-up.
Then again I haven’t left my house in 7 days (ok well, once for doctors and once to pick up meds at target).
Who would I be trying to please? My bedroom walls? They seem to be the things that see me the most these days.
I miss people. I miss my life.
This is so frustrating.
First Chris…
now Freddie, ugh.
Sorry in advance to all of my facebook friends who read my recent status…
So, I was stocking the front fridge at work when one of the janitors who work at the library came over to me. She asked me how I was and then proceeded to note that it looked like I had gained weight. She said she didn’t remember me looking so stocky. I was shocked and just looked at her. I said “No..” with a sad/angry/confused look on my face and she had the nerve to say “dont look at me like that”. I couldn’t believe her. My eye started to well up so I ran into the stock room and cried for 5 minutes.
I’m very sensitive about my weight. I’ve been losing it, not gaining. It just hurt so much to hear something so negative. People just don’t know when to keep their opinions to themselves these days and then they get on people who have eating disorders.
I just can’t believe some people.
“And I am lost, so lost, you are the constellations…”
I pulled up to my house around 10:30pm after an hour at the gym. I stepped out of my car and I just stared up at the sky. I gazed up at the stars, mesmerized by the number of constellations and the various loners lighting up the night sky.
Then I thought of you because whenever i look up I think as though you might be looking back. But I dont know where you really are, I can only hope you are watching over me. You were my rock. You always knew what to say to fix everything, even if it was just for a short amount of time. I realize it’s up to me now. Sometimes I just wish I still had your guidance. It was too soon, I wasn’t ready, no one was. I just miss you, I really do.
I love you dad. It doesn’t get any easier to deal with, just easier to hide.
In a relationship, married or not… You should read this.
Marriage.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
Currently crying at work.
Moving on saturday…
Pros
+seeing my brother more
+hanging out with reada more
+keeping my mom company
+lots of exercise opportunites
+healthy food
+learning to sew
+bigger new room
+Getting to play with Montezuma all the time
Cons
- probably going to lose a lot of friends because of distance and them not having a car
- my car will most likely die for good because of all the commuting I’m going to have to do
- commuting to school
- commuting to my job
- being much further from my friends
- only 2 bars…bill batemans and green turtle, batemans sucks and the green turtle just opened
- living in a town of nothing
- being surrounded by all the worthless people who haven’t been able to get out of the town (exceptions are Ashley&Valerie)
- wasting so much more gas/gas money
- basically my life is going to get more expensive since I’ll have to go to everyone if I want a social life
I’m just really bummed to be honest. I’m sure I’ll get through it, I mean I have to but it still really sucks.
